Life’s a Stage—and Every One of Them Is Stressful

Why You're Not Crazy, You're Just Aging Normally (Unfortunately)...

We all like to pretend we’re totally fine at every stage of adulthood. You know: “I’m thriving, not crying in my car,” kind of fine. But the truth is, every stage of adult life comes with its own unique brand of psychological torment—I mean stressors. Clinically speaking, of course.

Let’s break it down, stage by stage—because once you see it laid out, it’s easier to admit: you’re not losing your mind, you’re just growing up.

Stage 1: Post-High School / Early 20s

“What am I doing with my life?” also known as “Which way is up?”

Clinical Stressors:

Identity Formation:

Erikson called this the “Identity vs. Role Confusion” phase. It’s the psychological version of a Craigslist roommate ad: chaotic and unstable.

Decision Paralysis:

College? Trade? Travel? Netflix in mom’s basement?

Separation Anxiety (yes, adults can have it): You moved out, but now you’re realizing the electric bill doesn't pay itself.

What It Looks Like:

• Existential dread at 2 a.m.

• Frequent Google searches for "how to be an adult"

• A deep commitment to iced coffee and poor decisions

Stage 2: Mid to Late 20s

"I thought I’d have it all together by now.”

Clinical Stressors:

Imposter Syndrome:

You're technically a grown-up…but you're still calling your dad about car trouble.

Career Identity Stress:

Should you climb the ladder or burn it down and start a podcast?

Relationship Pressure:

Friends are either getting married or ghosting therapists.

What It Looks Like:

• Crying on the way to work

• “Networking events” that are just excuses to drink wine and panic

• Therapy. Hopefully. Or at least memes about it.

Stage 3: 30s – The “Middle of the Beginning”

“I don’t have time to have a breakdown—I have a mortgage.”

Clinical Stressors:

Family vs. Career Conflict:

You can have it all, just not at the same time, and probably not while sleeping.

Role Overload:

Employee, parent, spouse, fantasy football commissioner—pick three.

Unprocessed Trauma:

The ghosts from your 20s are now roommates.

What It Looks Like:

• Grocery aisle existential crises

• Googling “how to make friends as a tired adult”

• Resentment toward people with “flexible schedules”

Stage 4: 40s – The Midlife Blender

“Is this all there is?” is now a daily mantra.

Clinical Stressors:

Midlife Reappraisal:

Also known as “Oh no, I am my father.”

Aging Parents:

Becoming the caretaker for the people who raised you is like life’s sick punchline.

Body Betrayal:

Knee pain. Eye floaters. Random noises when standing up.

What It Looks Like:

• Sudden urge to run a marathon or buy a motorcycle

• Reevaluating all your life choices while driving to Target

• Spending \$1,200 on supplements and still feeling tired

Stage 5: 50s – The Reality Check

“I have wisdom. And back pain. Mostly back pain.”

Clinical Stressors:

Empty Nest Syndrome:

You miss your kids. Until they move back in.

Legacy Anxiety:

“Have I made a difference?” quickly followed by, “Do I still remember my password?”

Marriage Shifts:

You love your spouse. But wow…they breathe really loud.

What It Looks Like:

• Late-night scrolling on Zillow in other states

• Talking about “the good old days” unironically

• Getting emotional over Costco rotisserie chickens (and not knowing why)

Stage 6: 60s–70s – Retirement & Identity Shifts

“Now what?”

Clinical Stressors:

Loss of Work Identity:

For 40 years you were someone. Now you’re… in your slippers. At 3 PM.

Mortality Awareness:

That weird pain in your side? Suddenly very interesting.

Social Isolation:

Friends move. People pass away. And no one responds to texts like they used to.

What It Looks Like:

• Starting hobbies just to avoid watching Wheel of Fortune

• Talking to the dog more than your spouse

• Realizing rest isn’t relaxing when you’ve lost your purpose

Clinician’s Note:

Stress isn’t reserved for trauma survivors and anxious Gen Zers. It’s baked into every life stage. Each chapter brings its own grief, growth, and glorious breakdowns—and they’re not signs of failure. They’re invitations.

Invitations to adapt. To evolve. To reconnect with yourself.

So wherever you are on this crooked path called adulthood, take a breath. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just human—with a brain doing its best under stress.

And if it ever feels like too much?

That’s what therapy’s for. We’ll be here—waiting with a box of tissues, a clinical framework, and possibly a sarcastic sense of humor.

**About the Author:**

Brent Dyer, LPC, is a therapist, speaker, and recovering worship pastor turned clinical director. He specializes in helping people undo their performance-driven identities and build lives worth living—one messy stage at a time.

life stage development, counseling, mental health